There are so many conversations about how a relationship should go. How the man should act... How the woman should act...

Can we pause for a moment, and put a few things on the table?

I don't recall too many 20, 30, or even 40 year married couples openly offering a ton of advice about their marriages. Scenarios where people are offering advice, typically involve a person giving their advice via their opinion, and it is typically lumping all couples under one virtual umbrella.

Let's admit that relationships are unique unto themselves and there is a fine balance needed to keep a romantic one in a position to grow and thrive. A relationship is an instance that involves two individuals and their individual wants, needs, and desires being placed together. Both individuals are in need for their concerns to be addressed within the relationship.

So, in today's times, what does a successful relationship really look like? There are quite a few immediate questions that come to mind when we say relationships. First, for me, is what is the measure for success in regards to a relationship? Bottomline, how do we call a relationship a success?

Is a relationship a success because of longevity? If so, how many years does a couple need under their belt? 2?, 5?, 7?, 10...?

Success in a relationship, from my point of view, can be measured beyond longevity. I believe that the time element helps to contribute with recognizing the success within a relationship. However, I believe success is acheived when a couple finds all of the necessary components that make their unique relationship work for them, and they apply those components.

There are basics that go into a relationship (components, if you will). In all of our relationships, and even situationships, we apply the components that we feel will work for our scenarios. Relationships can be governed with the basic components and each of the components' requirements can be tweaked to fit the design we are potentially looking for within our relationship conditions.

COMPONENTS
      - Time / Attention
      - Touch (ie, being close by, available for physical presence or contact)
      - Communication (listening & talking = developing a love language)
      - Trust / Truth / Honesty
      - Transparency
      - Support (ie, physical, emotional, spiritual, or financial)
      - Intimacy

Each of the above mentioned components are typical mechanisms that surface in romantic relationships. Depending on the couple and their individual make-up, at the time, each of these components can be visited in a couple's interactions. The actual amount of each depends on the couple and circumstances.

Giving an example of a potential fit and possible adjustment (tweaking) of a component...
In a relationship, a mate may require a strong focus on the Touch component. That mate may not do well with distance in a relationship, so that mate may require more emphasis on Touch; because they want or need their mate in close proximity ~ versus a person who may not mind some distance within a relationship.

The relationship components can be adjusted to fit each participant's requirements. As stated in the beginning, there isn't a one size fits all type of solution. It appears that the success within a relationship is all about the components and if they are aligned with each person involved.

Time together, the more time together, allows for proof that a couple has tweaked and may still be tweaking their components for a positive relationship outcome. From my P.O.V., modern day couples work the components within their relationships to maintain their success in love.